Driving into work today was its typical frustrating commute all 7.6 miles of it. Every morning I get on the highway and try to move left as quickly as possible. This morning was a little annoying as a Prius wanted to run parallel to me. Now, I had a bit of room before I absolutely, positively have to move over; however, having a fuel-efficient vehicle afterthought running neck and neck with my Suburban is quite annoying. So, I did what any redneck Korean would do in a Suburban and I just started veering into the lane… sidling right up next to the Prius.. the woman in pure horror, honked her horn as she watched me continue to drive closer… then, with all of the sense in the world, she slowed down and allowed me to ‘merge’. I did not care if I was in front of her or in back of her… I just felt that since I was coming onto the highway, that, somewhere in her tree-hugger head, she would realize that it was up to her to either go faster or slower to allow me to responsibly merge into traffic.
Well, if that wasn’t to-do enough for the AM communte.. she then honked after I was in front of her… Not quite sure why; however, she did. I thought about tapping my brakes; however, I had no time for a minor fender-bender, nor the desire. I just kept going, trying to get left. Once I was in the left lane, the sane lane, my lane.. the Prius Princess was again neck and neck with me, but, this time she was feverishly driving and looking over to me. For a moment I had wondered if I had run over her Birkenstocks or perhaps I almost hit her Vote Obama in 2008 sticker… but, none of which were possible. She continued to drive right next to me the entire time, I am sure this is the first time the Prius went above 55. Even when I had to slow down, she stayed parallel to me. Finally, I rolled the window down.. and she did too. I was anticipating what she wanted to say with baited breath… the air was calm and the soft rustle of morning traffic were around us and then she screamed:
You almost hit me.
What? That was it? “You almost hit me.” I was expecting so much more.. and this was all she was going to give me? Taken aback by her lame statement… I simply said:
Long Live George Bush!
I thought she was going to drive off the road that very instant. She had no response and I could tell that she was put off because as I continued on my 7.6 mile journey, her lane had slowed down dramatically.
You can drive all the hybrid cars you want.. broadcast, peace and your love of Obama; however, when it comes right down to it…if 4 Simple Words Can Make You Crazy… well, I am not quite sure if there’s any help for you.