Yesterday I received a text notification and since it wasn’t Mr. Cute’s tone I did not consider it immediate; however, when I glanced over to see who had sent the message I must say that I was a bit shocked… it was Mr. Special… Remember him? I do, but, not nearly as much as I thought I would. I suppose I should change his moniker; however, the meaning behind it carries no weight within my heart. He shared that he is done with his ‘daughter duties’ and wanted to take me out this Saturday. For a moment I was going to ignore it; however, I’ve never been one to ignore people. It’s not for them, but, for me… I do not want to be one of those types that acts poorly simply because someone else chose to. So, I responded.
As a woman I was compelled to get a little more off my chest than a “No, thank you!”, so, I summed it up concise and clearly with the last words being…. I am seeing someone that I care for deeply. I did not want to start with that as I believe there were a few things that I needed to say first.. and I did; however, I said them not to woo him back, but, to let him know where I was at. Some could say that he deserved no response and I would have to agree, yet, I believe in clarity and always letting people know where you or they stand. So, I did just that. I was not rude, there’s no reason why someone’s poor behavior should render a rude response. I also wanted to make sure that he clearly understood that there was no future chance with me.
Mr. Cute has nestled into my true heart, he is no longer a surface interest… the thought of another man near me just does even compute in my head. I am not ingrained to the point where I cannot see straight, yet, at the same time I am fully focused on whatever is meant to be. I like the possibility of happily ever after and although it is much too soon to tell, I see a clear path.
My entire being is affected by him…. he in no way controls me, as that is impossible nor is it even tried, yet, in just being around him or having him in my thoughts… a smile comes over my face and I simply feel magical. I like that the butterflies are still there and what’s even more important is that I feel they are mutual… well, as mutual as possible.
His voice is one of the things I look forward to hearing… when we are together, it is the last thing I hear before I slumber and the first thing I hear when I wake up. I am not in lust, but, in love and I so very much feel that is exactly where I need to be. I have often wondered what true love felt like… did I have it before? What were the feelings that I had for my son’s father? Was that love? In looking back I must be honest….although I did have love for him… I am pretty sure that it was not ‘true love’ as it was such a trying experience. I know that I cared for him; however, the bad times truly affected how I felt and in my mind when you truly love someone, the bad times do not have such an impact on how you generally feel about the other.
I have always said that I am a passionate person.. and I do feel very deep, yet, I know that I have reserved true love for someone special. I do not necessarily force a feeling; however, at the same time I know that in past I’ve always held back a bit due to being unsure if the person was really worth it. I can happily say that when I’ve done that I was right in doing so…yet, it took some time in which I could really see that I had made the correct decision.
I do believe that I have ‘had love’ for a select few; however, without hesitation I can say that none of those people inspire the type of feeling that Mr. Cute has. This is an exciting time for a myriad of reasons….it’s springtime, well, perhaps summer and the sun is shining and well, the birds are chirping, OH and I am in LOVE, LOVE, LOVE with …. Mr. Cute! Life is absolutely beautiful.. it was before my discovery of love; however, it has recently been enhanced and it is simply wonderful!