Airplane Rules

safety_oxygen_maskI definitely do not have all of my ducks in a row; however, I firmly believe that they are at least in the same room.  I have an opinion on just about anything… just ask me.  One of the primary tenets that I ascribe to and wholeheartedly believe in… is a set of Airplane Rules:

1.  In the event we lose cabin pressure… a mask will drop down, place your mask on first before assisting others….  This is the number one that some of you may have heard me advise.  I get that we like to help those that cannot help themselves.. and there are times when we help those that could help themselves, yet choose not to; however, (RULE) I firmly believe that if you are not prepared and able yourself… you really are no help to anyone else.

2.  Standing up, crowding the aisles does not force the door to open any faster.  I have found it extremely entertaining to watch this…There they stand, usually with big sighs…. It is a much easier exit, if you sit… and/or get your things together so that when the door does open you can simply roll on out of there, yet, most people stand up… sigh, perhaps even get annoyed.  (RULE) Take moments to rest, when they are given to you rather than stress yourself out for a situation that is out of your control.

3.  My favorite is when one person, typically closer to the front has some sort of ‘suitcase situation’ that prevents those behind them to pass.  Typically, if you have a situation that poses a delay to others, you should be courteous enough to A.  Notice It & B.  Avoid having others pay the price for your unique luggage. (RULE) If you have a unique situation that infringes on the freedom of others, keep it as your situation and do not force strangers to endure your own personal delay.

4.  An airplane is sealed when in flight… choosing to wear a baby-powder based perfume should be outlawed.  Any woman that feels this is a fashion statement is truly mistaken… furthermore, I think it should be considered a Hazardous Substance and carry the same or similar penalties as trying to bring Anthrax on-board.  It has to be one of the most offensive odors out there… (RULE) If your nose does not work, never wear perfume – EVER… No one should ever feel that they have the right to influence an entire compartment of any kind with their ‘style’.

5.  It is quite common to be seated next to a perfect stranger… you may have interest in them… you may be a little nervous of flying… you may just be a social butterfly; however, if after 1 to 3 attempts of having a full blown out conversation with them…. they have said a total of 3 words, consisting of any of the following:  yes, no, haha, yep, ok… etc. THEY DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU!  So, stop trying to talk to them.  Air travel has become a very expensive investment… yet, many for work or fun still use it as a form of transportation; however, for whatever reason, they may not feel like having a full-blown communication with the person that has been seated next to them… (RULE) If someone does not reciprocate equally in a conversation with you… accept the fact that for the duration of the flight… you are on your own with the Air Mail magazine… maybe you can find a gadget that will keep you busy on your return flight.

6.  Parents.. understand that your screaming baby is hated by everyone on that flight ONLY second to the spoiled brat that you give into wholeheartedly at every turn.  I am a parent and I think children are divine; however, a screaming baby or a manipulative, out-of-hand child are horrendous to endure on an airplane. (RULE) Before subjecting a small portion of the population with your child’s behaviors….be ready to experience looks of disdain, scoffs or rolling eyes.

These are just a few of the ‘rules’ of life I ascribe to…. as well as advise.  There are other rules; however, those are reserved for yet another day.. because the last rule is:

If you are not out living life.. you certainly should not be giving out advice about it.

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