I have been known to use the phrase; people may not remember what you say, but, they remember how you make them feel… I really believe this! As I think about this it forces me to think about how we say things… and to get even more in-depth… how what we say affects how someone feels… I am referring to the communications between most men & women.
In watching the show Home Improvement… Tim ‘the Tool Man’ Taylor is speaking with his wife and he says the following:
“If a bolder fell on a man and he asked for help… he would feel like half a man.” Jill, TIm’s wife, responded with this: “If he didn’t ask for help, he’d be half a man!” In Tim’s mind asking for help, even when in peril etc. would be an indication that the man is less than he should be. Is this really how men perceive, the request for help?
As a woman I may make a statement as to something I am going to do… I am not hinting for help; however, if my friends or a man ask me if I want some help.. I am really happy of course I know that I can do whatever by myself ans I am not even looking at their ‘help’ as true assistance.. they just want to spend time with me… with the ‘help’ offer the intro. I am not saying that they are being coy or fox-like it’s just the way. Yet, for men, the offer of help without request is viewed as a question of their manhood, irrespective of what it truly stems from.