I have spoken at great lengths about why I write this blog and how cathartic it has been for me. From where I sit, it is perfectly OK for me to do this as I gain insight, am able to express myself in a creative way and there is always a chance that what I am go through may be similar to that of another. I have defended this blog when people have asked, what if Mr. Special or someone new reads this. I realize that it could be a major detriment, yet, I must again remind myself… this is never written to ‘convince’ someone to do something nor is it written to make someone change. In a perfect world it could still be good or bad…. yet, the perception will mirror the image that a reader has on me more than what I actually write. I know that I am making huge assumptions; however, think about this: If you are with someone who is attractive to you… the things they do may or may not affect you in the way that if someone less attractive to you or downright boorish may appear. We have all had dinners or events where we’ve sat next to that less than Emily Post person… perhaps their dress is out-of-date, unkempt or downright dirty… each action they do then thereafter, is simply sort of gross. Yet, when you take a relatively handsome gent, his social faux pas may not even be noticed. All too often although we have perfect vision.. how we ‘see’ someone is greatly dependent on their overall presentation.
You would never go to a job interview in your comfy clothes sans resume, merely insisting to the hiring manager that YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. A first date or meet-n-greet can be in various outfits depending on the activity; however, you would look your best for whatever the occasion. Right? Well, I would hope so.
While sitting at a bar during a benefit … a man sat next to me with a profuse sweating situation going on. He appeared tense and more or less spent more time wiping the beads of sweat from his brow. The outside temperature was a cool 40 with that intense chill of threatening rain… Although the bar was filled.. there were numerous people in full leather that did not appear to have any sweat upon them at all. He had negotiated a free beer from the Bar Manager; however, it later turned out to be not his preferred choice of drink. I guess we all know what ‘free’ can get us.
We began talking based on the fact that there was no band playing… shortly after the conversation started, he began to share that he was a blogger…. I almost spoke up and admitted that I am too… but, I waited. I am learning to think before always responding.. and in this case it suited me well. He said that he writes about his bad dates…. OK, I thought this would be good as perhaps I could learn something… we all can learn, if we are open or willing to… and yes, a lesson can sometimes be gleaned from someone who sweats.
He said that he would give me ‘teasers’ of the posts.. and I encouraged him to just share the whole story. I think he was looking for readers and he broke up the stories.. here are the highlights or the choice words, in no particular order: hickey, midget, 6’5″, trapped in her car, ended up in Rochester, Mr. Pizza and 2 dates in one day… all of this was a menagerie of YUCK.. not just because the summaries sounded odd, but because Mr. Sweaty true to form continued to have beads of water run down his head. I could hardly watch all of this go on. The bar was filled with Law Enforcement and others that were doing their best for the fallen Officer. Of whom, I actually knew in passing.
Here I was sitting at the bar with a lot of attractive people all around and yet, Mr. Sweaty was my conversation option. At one point he asked about going to dinner, yet, I said:
I’m not feeling any chemistry…after this water, I’m going home.
Sure this sounds a bit harsh, yet, being a person that NEVER likes to be given vague statements, I refuse to give them out.
He was pretty understanding and appreciated my honesty (imagine that) and yet he continued to go on with his date stories. He also assured me that I would not end up on his blog; however, I never said that I, too wrote nor did I ever mentioned whether or not he would end up on mine.
Well the water went fast and I was ready to go…. keeping my manners in tow, we began to walk out together; however, his parting words were this:
I’m going to go to the bathroom, do you want to wait for me?
Truly surprised by this question… I had to laugh…. I merely replied, there’s really no reason for me to wait for you to go to the bathroom, since, we are not continuing this. My statement appeared to make sense.. and as I put out my hand to shake his.. he did the side hug embrace, I pulled back and became stiff… unfortunately I did have a brush with Mr. Sweaty .. the ONLY positive result to this was that an entire table full of women witnessed this whole uncomfortable exchange.. and as I pulled away and walked out… I heard one of the women say.. I’ve been there girl!
I walked out truly understanding that I must move on; however, if I need to move on … my only question is, can the next stepping stone have perspiration under control? I am not asking for fame & fortune or even a Knight in Shining Armor… merely someone who has their personal bodily functions in check.