It has become abundantly apparent that this blog was originally created to vent my dating experiences; however, based on recent experiences it has become clear that as I move from the dates of chaos, I have less to write about. I definitely want to scream from the mountain tops as to my happiness; however, in truth what I’ve been experiencing lately has inevitably forced me to be more private, less willing to share to the masses. I realize that a car accident is much more interesting than a meadow of gallivanting rabbits; however, I am going to try and do some total recall of dates of past. I make no assumptions as to what is to come in regard to the return of Mr. Cute; however, my heart has always known that when we parted in July… it was not done.
I will not make a prediction right now as we’re nowhere near the tarmac; however, we’re in the same gate. These past several months have given me some learning time, they’ve allowed time for me to learn more about me, to learn what I like and more importantly what I do not like. It allowed me to grow and to understand more about myself. I will never turn a blind eye to learning and self-improvement as both are big deals for me. I truly believe that we can always improve and although I do not always like the teacher or the lesson I value the knowledge.
Mr. Cute never left my heart; however, he had to leave my center of vision and in truth he had to be gone from my daily thoughts…even though my heart continued to keep his place secure. I needed to learn to give him space, to be OK with our intrinsic connection, even if we were not speaking or seeing one another. I left on the 15th and although there was some communication… in truth it was simply that – communication to convey information, nothing else. There were no more honey references, no smiley avatars – just information sharing. It was difficult; however, it was what it was and for that period of time – what it needed to be.
Here I had felt that Christmas was more or less a bust this year; however, I actually received a very special gift the day after… although not too much after… it was received on the 26th, despite being intended to have arrived on Christmas Day itself. Yep, the everything happens for a reason thing strikes again!
Again, I simply am not sure what is to come; however, isn’t that half the fun? Well, for most, YES; however, for me… not knowing is one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, endure – experience.