Sometimes I need to get back to Claire. I so enjoy being the caregiver; however, despite my willingness to do so without expectation it still takes something out of me. I compare this to Motherhood. I love my son and when he was young, I had to do a lot of Mothering, I did it without expectation; however, at the end of the day I was exhausted. I do not feel like My Love’s mother, but, I did go into full blown Mom mode post the heart attack and I lost myself in the process. I began to analyze and pick and question. This week has given me that energy to look at things in a more rational manner. I did need that time and I could not see it before as I selfishly put myself aside and focused on him; however, that was the wrong thing to do as he is just fine, yet, I was not and that was an ugly place.