I Put The “Fun” IN Funeral

Based on the several losses I’ve experienced recently I started to think about my own funeral service.  What would I want done?  Who would handle it?  Would I want to be seen or is cremation the answer?  In all seriousness, I would want to create the picture boards…. there are a few pictures I never want to make the public eye… I also would like to have a guest list… Based on the current relationship of a few choice family members, I would be very fearful that they would be at the helm of all arrangements and that would be a hard thing to endure, even dead.

Could I have a dress code? i.e. No Crocs… limited cleavage and no plaids & stripe combinations?  Would it be uncool to ask certain people to step to the back of the room for a personal escort out?  It could be that no one shows up and there I would be…

I would want laughter, stories and country music.  I would want no tears, unless they were after a gregarious giggle session.  Would I want it to be at a Funeral Home or Church OR would it be better to have it any one of the numerous restaurants I have frequented over the years.  It really would be an efficient gesture to have the food right there, but, perhaps a little morbid for future business to frequent.

I realize that I can go any day… and I truly do not write this to appear that I think more of myself than I should; however, when it comes right down to it… If my funeral were tomorrow… I would definitely want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed in with gunpowder and made into 50 cal shells.. so that my final farewell would be being shot out of the barrel of a machine gun…. into the bodies of those that have threatened this Nation’s safety… 

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