Since I’ve connected my blog to my Facebook page I’ve received a lot of really nice and supportive comments. I am also very happy to report that bloggers of which I greatly admire and respect are not only reading my posts, but commenting and mentioning me (Thanks, @lookingforbrunettey); however, the question has come up more than once: What if he reads this? What if a new suitor reads this? Well, here’s the answer:
So, the “F” what! If I have to worry about who is going to read this, then I had better pull it off the web, disconnect Facebook, change my name, get a sex change, go by the name Larry and crawl into a sand dune!
If a potential suitor reads this and has an issue because I had feelings for someone in past, then, they need to find their big-boy pants. I realize that for some it may come across as odd that I would be so open and willing to share; however, as I’ve said before writing this blog is cathartic for me. If truth be told… I think a blog is much healthier than sitting down and letting my feelings gush out to a new suitor. I’ve lived most of my life keeping my feelings very close to the vest, it has not necessarily suited me well romantically and in truth, it’s not all that healthy either.
I enjoy writing and I think that once I get something down on paper or in this case on-screen I have a better understanding, in situations where I may have erred I am also able to get a better perspective when I can read it. For those that cannot put two sentences together, I am sure it would appear as if I was dedicating great time & resources; however, quite the contrary.
If we live our life fearing what someone else will think versus just asking… that’s on them, not me. If I appear to have invested time in someone who was not worth it – that’s also on me. Life is full of experiences and being able to reflect, introspect and learn are all invaluable traits. I refuse to feel something or express something for another simply because they cannot handle it or do not reciprocate.
In truth it would make me a bit uncomfortable for Mr. Special to read these posts, yet, he is definitely not worth taking them down or trying to hide them. I enjoy the fact that I get to feel and express myself in such a welcoming place as CountryClaire.WordPress.com and I will continue to write when the mood strikes me.
In the event a new Mr. Special happens to come across these posts, I hope he has enough internal security to read them as they are written and not try to read more into what they are. Let’s be real, women tend to read into things a lot more than men do. I happen to know this to be true – because I’ve been known to do it more than once and in truth it has never suited me in the romantic arena. So, a new lesson has been learned and a new process is in place. Yay me!
I am a passionate person and I feel deeply. I do not juggle people and I have no reason to spend time with one in an attempt to get over another, I certainly would NOT want that to be done to me. My writing has given me new perspectives, a more calming nature and an all around better understanding of what it is I want, who I am and where I am going.
So, to those who read, I sincerely hope that you get something out of these posts and I truly appreciate the time you take to read.