In today’s world it appears that women insist on being independent; however, I think that it’s been taken a little too far. I’ve been guilty of this as well; however, no longer. I do need others and more importantly I want others in my life. I have my family that I can go to for anything and everything and there’s that core group of friends that is always there for me. Now, I have a wonderful man in my life that I am growing closer to each day! These are all exceptional relationships, some have a lifetime of history whereas others are new. This is a nice consistency.
In past my romantic relationships have been with men that are overly complimentary, yet, in truth their actions when apart may not have equaled their flowery words, when together. This is something to take note of. Yet, despite the fact that their actions may not have mirrored their words… the words themselves were so nice to hear. Now, that I am with Mr. Cute and do not have any real plans to change that… I am starting to notice that he in many ways is just the opposite of others. His actions are loud & clear, yet, the compliments are few & far between. I do not want to come off as the never satisfied woman type… but, I would like some balance. If Mr. Cute does things for me…. how much of a stretch would it be to get a few more complimentary words thrown in? I realize that the men of past had words that were more or less empty, yet, with Mr. Cute… since we are sharing/caring… I’d like to hear his thoughts a little more. Never was I good with over the top compliments; however, sincere, well placed compliments warm my heart.
I’ve decided that I am merely going to ask for more. I realize that whenever asking, there’s that possibility of being denied; however, for me I feel justified in sharing what I desire and am mature enough to accept the answer. I believe that Mr. Cute has a hard time with compliments as I’ve experienced him brushing them off when given to him. I know he is worthy of the things I say, otherwise I would not say them, just to talk. I also know that if he did not want to do X for me, he would not as there was a short time in which he simply let me fend for myself when we were together. We’ve moved past the smothering that was going on as my circumstances changed.
Asking for something is different from demanding. Expecting things to go your way is different from being receptive to the way things go. I am going to ask with no expectations. Yes, there may be a hope; however, hoping for something is not the same as expecting it to be a particular way. He has asked for things and I have always had the option of doing them or not doing them. I feel comfortable enough in who we are as a couple to state without demand what I would like and from there see what comes of it.
Advocating for what you want should never be viewed as over-bearing and/or wrong. It should be viewed just as it is delivered…
When I think about time together with Mr. Cute I smile. He has come back from the ‘cave’ unscathed and his willingness to be truly ‘present’ with me has returned as well. Our time apart was soothing for me too. I was able to get back in touch with who I am and in truth with what I like and do not like. I am still learning that although women feel closer when they are with a man, men feel closer when they are able to miss the woman… but, it is starting to sink in.
I will always value actions over words; however, I truly believe that there can be a nice balance of both with each one having a sincere delivery. Yes, actions speak louder than words; however, there’s no harm in having a few words in addition to or in between actions, right?
In past I have not asked for things.. merely expected them and when they did not come, I was discouraged and in some cases, simply walked away. Mr. Cute is not someone who I would choose to walk away from as I find that our relationship is budding nicely. I simply want to not only see, but hear…. and for that I must be fair and make the ask..I will let you know how it goes.