In a recent discussion with my Beau I joked that I was jealous; however, in truth he’s never given me an ounce in which to worry or be truly jealous about. As always we had a wonderful conversation, filled with equal listening and sharing… I know, it’s getting pretty sappy here; however, that’s how we communicate.
If I did have an actual reason to worry…then, I would not be there, I would not want to subject him or myself to any type of speculation – that’s not a fun way in which to operate. Yet, he shared that he would prefer to be overly open and dispel any potential concern. OK, that makes sense as most men (no bashing or profiling intended) would not be that open, yet, at the same time his overly open behavior, while truly appreciated, also causes me to wonder if he ‘thinks’ that I question him OR that I am not strong enough to simply trust him. I do OR again, I would not be there.
As you get to know one another in a new relationship, you find yourself interacting from various levels… some that you can demonstrate without incident, whereas others you fumble through as if this was your first ride in the rodeo. I think that how you feel about a person can greatly impact how you handle certain things. I have known many men that have a firm grasp on the English Language and yet when they come to speak to me… it appears if they’ve never uttered a word. Now, I do not say this in the hopes that you think I tongue-tie everyone; however, each person has their own ‘poison’ so to speak and when confronted with someone that is affected by that ‘poison’ they can, in essence fumble through the very basic of things. This inevitably carries over to as your feelings get stronger for another. You are not necessarily being dishonest; however, your feelings for them and perhaps even their presence can cause you to be a little different than you would be with someone that did not have such an impact on you..
For instance…. I can articulate my thoughts & feelings to the point where a complete stranger would know in moments, just the type of person that I am; however, when talking with Mr. Cute on various matters, I sometimes muddle through and/or the correct words simply escape me. I always hope that he will understand what it is that I am trying to say; however, how we feel about someone greatly impacts how we listen and what we listen to. When there is someone near & dear to us, we listen (in most cases) with not only our ears, but our hearts; however, when there is someone that does not reach our inner core, we definitely can still at the very least hear them; however, we may not always listen. I know that I’ve been guilty of hearing someone and never once truly listening to what it is that they were saying. I realize that this is not only poor manners, but, it is extremely disrespectful.
One of the things that I have always found quite common is that we tend to be more concerned with how we interact with strangers and/or those that are barely known to us than those that our nearest & dearest. Have you ever bumped into a family member and said nothing at all or ‘move’? I know that I have been guilty of this and yet, when I have even a near miss of colliding with a stranger, we both tend to be oh, excuse me or I am sorry.. or something similar. Well, this is the same with hearing & listening all too often we put our attention/focus on those that truly do not hold stake within our hearts only to then skim over what someone close to us is saying. Why is this? Well, I believe that we instinctively assume that because they care about us and we about them… that we get a pass on utilizing manners. This should never be the case; however, all too often it is.
I know that I started out this post talking about a playful discussion on jealousy and that it spiraled into one in regard to hearing & listening; however, jealousy can typically be quickly dispelled through communication; however, if someone is willing to openly communicate with you…. you had better not only hear what they are saying, but listen from the position of openness.