Rushing Forever

It’s no secret when we experience something we want it to last or we want to have it happen all the time; however, even the best meal would become status quo if we ate it all the time.  I learned that when I took the meter of bratwurst challenge, I like bratwurst, but, a meter was more than I could stand.  I achieved ‘the challenge’ but NEVER, NEVER again!

He came at me with a storm of love and beautiful words; however, as we settled into our ‘thing’ those expressions became less.  To be reasonable I did not expect that level of romance at every turn; however, just as quickly as it came, it vanished.  Oddly enough he still loves me very much.  He is not necessarily complacent; however, it felt that way at first.  While I can understand it would not always be that way I reacted harshly when that truth came to light.  I suppose I did so because despite reality, I still wanted the fairy tale. This is a love I want to last and this is something I need to truly let breathe, in order to.  I am not giving up on what I deserve; however, being realistic, understanding life gets in the middle is not accepting less, it’s growth.

We had a fight or whatever you want to call it on limited sleep and a lot of action and yet, we did not part forever, but, for a moment. This is new as before, it was out of sight, out of mind.  As I learn this new way and am forced to trust in the love we’ve professed I do feel a sense of calm and tranquility.  As long as we do not lose the will and want of one another, the miscellaneous miscommunication and learning will come.

I must trust in what I cannot control.

I must live in the world we are creating.

I love him and even, I cannot rush forever!

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