It’s very easy to ‘say’ you’re thinking rationally; however, the uncontrollable excitement cannot be easily controlled. We all want to be able to give someone a true chance by not over-thinking too much, dreaming up scenarios and creating a vision of what it all will be like, yet, when you’ve wanted something for so very long – it’s almost inevitable. How do you give them a fighting chance without causing them to take away yours? You let them know. You show your cards. You remain open, full-disclosure. You breathe in deep, exhale fully and hope that they’ve had some of these same feelings, so that they fully understand – you’re not holding high expectations, yet, you’re excited at the what could be.
It’s too soon to know. It’s too late to walk away. It’s, as Goldylocks would say; Just Right. Days now separate us, yet, it was not too long ago, where we had no idea of the other, which was a far greater divide. Relish in that fact alone….we went from not knowing to days… and those days are falling as quickly as rain on a cold Minnesota August day. With each droplet… time marches on.
To hear his voice in the same room. To see his face. To touch his hand. All of these things are still just a tad off in the future; however, that is where the thoughts, dreams and visions force their presence. I can do nothing more than temper those.
Will he rush to hug me? Will he take my hand? Will he be compelled to kiss me? Will he? Will I? Is this the beginning of ‘Our Story’? We know how it began; however, there’s no sense in wondering how or if it will end… what gives this that certain romantic flare is the initial sharing, the we statements, the future comments without being too gregarious in scope to hint to that future faker type. Genuine words with little to no fanfare come across as such. I am too mature to fall for trivial promises and I am too young to ignore sincere words… I am at the perfect time in my life to come with a foundation that is still very moldable, yet – strong. I can now offer who I know I am to be. There will always be growth; however, I now have many core beliefs in place, which do not come in your 20’s or 30’s – they begin to solidify in one’s 40’s.
It’s one thing to create something that simply is not there, it is quite another to build something together. To take each piece and add as desired. I would never rush what needs time in which to grow nor stall an immediate need. The dance will be of 2, the moves will flow without plan and the result will be what each of us feels comfortable creating. That is what I am patiently awaiting.. the beginning of ….. well, even that’s too soon to name…..