When Last Is the Goal

There’s always such a clamor to be first!  In racing, no one ever says I want to be last.  The focus has always been on #1 as we all know what #2 is.  Yet, when it comes to matters of the heart… being first is rarely ever the goal.  I know that when someone is younger, they revel in sharing the first kiss with someone special; however, as I age, I realize that first is not where I want to be…. I want to be the last.  One of my favorite softer songs is that done by Gretchen Wilson, I’d Love To Be Your Last .. here are the lyrics, if you do not want to hear the song:

If I had it my way, this would be the first time
That I made love
And I would be the first girl that your hands touched
But we’ve both done our share of livin’
Taking chances we’ve been given
I’ve never been too big on looking back
I don’t care if I’m your first love,
But I’d love to be your last

If I could do it over I’d have waited for this moment
So I could give my heart to you unbroken
But if our mistakes brought us together
Does it really matter whether
We were saints or sinners in the past?
I don’t care if I’m your first love,
But I’d love to be your last

All I know is what I see when I look at you
And what I see when I look at you
And all I see is what I’m feeling down inside
And all I’m feeling is this feeling
That I’ve finally got it right
When I wake up tomorrow I’m gonna wrap my arms around you
And thank my lucky stars I found you
Cause I know your heart has so much more than anyone has
Touched before, and nothing matters more to me than that
I don’t care if I’m your first love,
But I’d love to be your last

This is where I am at right now…. I am not vying for first place, but, for last.  Depending on how you look at something really flows through how you act and/or react to other things.  I know that I have wanted to share a first this or that with Mr. Cute; however, at our age, it’s rare that we will find that ‘thing’ that neither one of us has done before.  At first I was discouraged; however, here’s the deal… a small shift in perception makes everything we do a first, simply because whatever he or I have done with another… we have yet to do with each other.  Tada!  I’ve had a hundred (probably more) hamburgers; however, I can share one with him and have it be our ‘first’.  I can see Rocky over and over, yet, one day I hope to watch it with him..yet, another first… but, when I think about it all.. the one thing I want to be last on is his love.

Are the butterflies still there?  Yes, in full force with the population growing daily… am I grounded, yes, much more than I was before.. as their wings were carrying me throughout my days.  A little bump took me from my floating wave and brought me back down to earth; however, it was long overdue and in truth… it was exactly what was needed.  Whenever we shift from one thing to another, it may take a moment to adjust; however, if you truly look at the situation for what it is… minus all of the emotional stuff.. you inevitably will benefit.

I look back at all of the things I’ve done, experienced and learned…. I realize that there is no turning back the clock and the milk that has been spilled, even though cleaned up… still at one point was a puddle of white.  We cannot undue what we have already done; however, each day is a new one and each moment is yet another memory that we can pack up and take with us if we so choose.  I am not concentrated on being first in everything as sometimes being last is exactly where you want to be.

One Comment:

  1. lookingforbrunettey

    BEAUTIFUL!!! You’ve opened my eyes love. Thank you x

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