I Was Assaulted In Uptown

During an evening with friends at a Thai restaurant in Uptown Minneapolis… I decided that I had enough to drink and it was time to go to the restroom.  Although rare for me, I asked another person to go.  When I got into the stall I noticed that there was a control panel of options for the toilet… I cannot remember what they all were; however Bidet was an option.  I just thought it was SO gross that a public restroom would be this automated; however, I simply had no interest in using the Bidet of the General Public.  Apparently